{"id":4198,"date":"2013-12-20T16:03:58","date_gmt":"2013-12-21T00:03:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/qgp.ykq.mybluehost.me\/cinephiled\/?p=4198"},"modified":"2013-12-26T13:10:09","modified_gmt":"2013-12-26T21:10:09","slug":"best-christmas-movie-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/best-christmas-movie-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The Best Christmas Movie Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"

The holidays are a time for family coming together, exchanging gifts among friends, and jostling for space in front of intricately designed department store windows. Movies also play a key role in the season. The week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s is the most lucrative box office period of the year. It\u2019s a week so magical that something like Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked<\/i> can trick $337 million out of people who at any other time of the year would probably know better.<\/p>\n

Movies are also an important way to kill time. Family discord? Put a movie on. Need to keep the kids busy while you wait in line for a ham? Take them to the multiplex. Need a break from the endless parade of holiday specials on television? Buy a ticket to watch Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro beat each other up a full three decades past the time when that would\u2019ve been exciting.<\/p>\n

\"Yes,<\/a>

Yes, that is Lee Majors as Santa Claus.<\/p><\/div>\n

We all have our favorite holiday movies. There are the usual suspects playing ad nauseam throughout the season: Miracle on 34th<\/sup> Street, It\u2019s a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, White Christmas, Christmas Vacation, <\/i>etc. Those are all classics, but for me, one film trumps them all. It\u2019s called A Smoky Mountain Christmas, <\/i>it\u2019s from 1986, and it stars Dolly Parton, Lee Majors, and a bundle of adorable orphans. The movie\u2019s annual viewing is an essential part of my holiday routine. It beats the elaborate windows at Saks any day of the week.<\/p>\n

A Smoky Mountain Christmas <\/i>features Dolly Parton in the challenging \u201crole\u201d of a country music superstar from Tennessee\u2019s Smoky Mountains. Tired of the glam life in Hollywood, she heads home to spend a week at a friend\u2019s remote cabin, only to find a septet of orphans claiming squatters\u2019 rights. For reasons that are outlandish even for a TV movie, Dolly attracts the ire of an evil mountain witch who tries to kill her by transforming into an innocent looking old lady and trying to feed her a poisoned pie.<\/p>\n

\"Take<\/a>

Take my man and I’ll feed you poisoned pie!<\/p><\/div>\n

As if the Snow White <\/i>angle wasn\u2019t enough, Lee Majors plays a mysterious mountain hermit who eats children. But is he really as monstrous as his reputation? Could he actually be a lawyer from the big city who also got tired of cosmopolitan life? Could his rugged good looks and equally rugged lifestyle be the perfect antidote to Dolly\u2019s southern California malaise? Will they adopt all the orphans or separate the siblings forever<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know the answers to these questions, I know of an exciting contest where you give me all your credit cards numbers, and if one of them is lucky, you win a prize. Leave a message in the comments for more information.<\/p>\n

\"Dolly<\/a>

Dolly with the dwarves\/orphans.<\/p><\/div>\n

There are so many things to love in A Smoky Mountain Christmas<\/i>: The opening music video sequence with the super gay back-up dancers. The porchfront sing-alongs with Dolly and her guitar. The John Ritter cameo that happens for no particular reason. The dramatic escape from the orphanage. The shock of seeing Dolly Parton locked up behind bars.<\/p>\n

Of course, if anyone remembers the 1999 Simpsons<\/i> Super Bowl episode, they\u2019ll remember that Dolly Parton always carries around extra-strength make-up remover that can eat through steel. Sadly, this robust product was still in development in 1986. Luckily, a stone jailhouse wall is no match for Lee Majors.<\/p>\n

A Smoky Mountain Christmas <\/i>is not available on DVD or any streaming service. It used to be you had to search through the onscreen TV guide to find the one time of the year it would play on the Hallmark Channel at three in the morning. Truly devoted fans, such as my family, bought bootleg copies on eBay. Thankfully, some kind soul posted the entire thing on YouTube last year, so now everyone can experience the toe-tapping joy without all the fuss.<\/p>\n

\"Portrait<\/a>

Portrait of a woman turned yellow.<\/p><\/div>\n

The holidays are about traditions and good company. If those traditions center around a well-endowed blonde Snow White then so be it. Santa has enough people to worry about.<\/p>\n

Click here to watch A Smoky Mountain Christmas <\/i>in its entirety<\/a><\/strong>. It\u2019s the best 94 minutes you\u2019ll spend this Christmas season.<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t forget to post your favorite holiday movie in the comments below. Even if it\u2019s Jingle All the Way<\/i>. Don\u2019t be ashamed. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad are one of cinema\u2019s classic comic pairs. They\u2019re the Bob Hope and Bing Crosby of the 90s.<\/p>\n

\"God<\/a>

God bless us, everytwo. I mean one! One!<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The holidays are a time for family coming together, exchanging gifts among friends, and jostling for space in front of intricately designed department store windows. Movies also play a key role in the season. The week between Christmas and New Year\u2019s is the most lucrative box office period of the year. It\u2019s a week so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":4205,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[282,871,873,872,874],"yoast_head":"\nThe Best Christmas Movie Ever - Cinephiled<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why "A Smoky Mountain Christmas" is the best Christmas movie ever.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/best-christmas-movie-ever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Best Christmas Movie Ever - Cinephiled\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why "A Smoky Mountain Christmas" is the best Christmas movie ever.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/best-christmas-movie-ever\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Cinephiled\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/cinephiled\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-12-21T00:03:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-12-26T21:10:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/7zcKvPHmmvcm6RDLAxRWJUHmJlx.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1920\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Frank Paiva\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@FrankPaiva206\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Cinephiled\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Frank Paiva\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/best-christmas-movie-ever\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.cinephiled.com\/best-christmas-movie-ever\/\",\"name\":\"The Best Christmas Movie Ever - 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