Ever since Charlie Hunnam dropped out of the 50 Shades of Grey movie earlier this week, rumors have been flying about his replacement. Nearly every handsome, brooding actor in Hollywood has been rumored for the part. It all depends on what website you read most.

Entertainment Weekly is suggesting Leonardo DiCaprio. Britney Spears wants James Franco. US Magazine is reporting that Australian actor Luke Bracey is at the top of the heap. Access Hollywood says former As the World Turns star Billy Magnussen is in final talks. The Borgias hottie Francois Arnaud has sealed the deal according to Just Jared.

Cinephiled can now exclusively report that all of those exclusive reports are wrong. Our sources tell us that beloved Sesame Street elephant Snuffleupagus is signing contracts today to take over the role.

300px-Snuffleupagus-and-big-birdThe role of Christian Grey is a big break for this furry brown elephant. Since 1971, Snuffleupagus has played second fiddle to a host of characters on Sesame Street, namely Big Bird.

“I look forward to being able to prove myself as a leading man,” said the opera fan who lives in a cave with the rest of his family just a few blocks from Sesame Street. “It’s exciting that the public will finally get the chance to see what I can really do.”

50 Shades fans balked at the news, citing Snuffleupagus’s age as a primary factor:

“He’s only 4 years old. I don’t know if elephants are like dogs, and 4 human years is actually 30 elephant years. Maybe if that’s the case it would be OK. Otherwise I think it’s kind of inappropriate,” wrote one superfan.

“Elephants don’t have abs!” wrote another.

Filming on the 50 Shades movie is expected to begin in early November. Universal will release the drama on August 1, 2014.